“If”

If is one of my favorite poems.  That is all.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

–Rudyard Kipling

Welcome, Biplay Dilip Pandit…

Heather and I have decided to sponsor a child through Compassion International.  As such, we just received our info packet containing much of what we would need to know about this young child in order to begin showing love from the other side of the planet.

Here is life-change in paper form:

I so look forward to being a part of this child’s life, as well as receiving more pictures of him.*

The ultimate goal is to see this commitment through, and as Little Biplay turns into Big Biplay, to have been a consistent part of his journey.  Now, what that looks like exactly will take much prayer and meditation in order to comprehend.

Jar

*With less obvious terror in his face.

My first and probably last post on sex…

The apparent trendy, controversial topic in churches these days happens to be a simple yet complicated three letter word: sex.

I agree wholeheartedly that the Church has allowed culture and society to dictate what sex means to many people, including myself, and there is a definite need to redeem the idea of “getting down” to be considered as something amazingly spiritual and pleasurable between two married people.  I think it’s great that churches are now breaking taboo and speaking out on the wonders of physical intimacy.  If we could break apart our perceptions of this act of love from what we’re being told it is, there surely would be less heartache in marriages.  Of course, we must remember that sex itself should not be an end all goal in a marriage, but therein lies my point:

Do you think we’re starting to swing the pendulum too far in the opposite direction by focusing so much of our attention on an already culturally gluttonous topic?

In my opinion, I’m not entirely sure.  But I am starting to wonder.

Then again, this is coming from a 25 year old, unwed male.  The perspective might be a little skewed.

Everybody have fun tonight…

Adam Lehman is a youth pastor from somewhere in Ohio (I’m horrible with locations) and his blog is one of the many I subscribe to.  His post today was especially convicting, as it’s a common problem for college students.

Go ahead and click on over to Adam’s site, read the post, then read the Scripture.  Or in whichever order you prefer, just as long as you do it.

If I were to personalize Isaiah 5:11-12, I have a feeling it would go something like this:

Be careful if you’re someone who wakes in the morning seeking something entertaining to do first thing.  Or if you stay up past midnight just because you’re bored and want to play around on your computer.

You may have the latest iPod, BlackBerry or iPhone, and even a Macbook Pro, but your appreciation for God’s work is limited.

What might this passage look like for you?

Thanks, Adam.  I needed to hear this.

Jar

I just got pwned…

Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original; whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.

Touche, C.S. Lewis.  Touche.

Aaaand we’re back…

It’s been a very long time since I last posted.

In that space between then and now, I’ve learned a lot of things.  Too much to adequately detail for you here.  I wouldn’t be able to do it justice.

I suppose you’ve learned a lot as well, seeing as how we’re both in the same boat.  Life.

To be honest, I’ve gone back and forth, forth and back between feeling good about this blog, and guilty about it.

Good because it is a creative outlet for me, and I’ve enjoyed some of the discussions I’ve had with you that come from that outlet.  Guilty because…well, let’s be real here: this is all so self-serving.

Either way, I’ll just go with it…

Catch up: back at Huntington U, doing the RA thing, still working at the church (CCC) and loving it, and everything else in between.

South Africa equaled incredible.

South Africa also equaled difficult.

I don’t care that I just posed a theoretically paradoxical equation to you, so relax.

For now, I think that’s a good enough place to end.

Areté

More humble to mumble?

I’ve come to learn that prayer is a discipline I am in need of appreciating more.

I’ve never been so much of a prayer warrior as a prayer jester.  I may perform it, but how much of it can be taken seriously?

How much of what I pray is a contrived attempt at gaining the favor of God?  Or worse, man?

What I have found though, is in moments of deep, intense anguish or pain, I always resort to praying.  Always.  Almost by accident even.

In those moments, my prayers are unintelligible and incoherent.  Much of what I say could not be understood by the ears of man, nor would I want them to attempt.  It’s rather embarrassing, even when one considers I’m completely alone when this happens.  It’s not speaking in tongues, but it could very well be mistaken for it.

What it is though, is an attempt to put into words that which is beyond my own scope of expression.  The language of humanity does a great disservice when uttered into the ears of the Almighty.  Words can rarely give full meaning to that which we are feeling and wish to convey.  This, perhaps, is the reason I mumble when praying.

And yet, I feel as if God accepts it all the same.

That through the rambling, incomprehensible babble I call “words”, He understands what I am saying.  He feels what I feel.

He gets it.

How shameful of me to think that I could ever pray in a different manner, one that would be loftier in its use of elegant prose and poetic imagery!  That to mumble the words of my heart before He who contains it would be far better than anything else is an almost preposterous notion to give in to, yet as followers of The Way we are given to preposterous thinking.

With these things in mind, I have some stuff I need to go mumble about.

Jar

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Prescription…

We all wish to have peace, and while I do not claim to have any special insight into how to achieve it, I can give you what has helped me in some of my most difficult of times.

I hope that if you are enduring those difficult moments that we tend to find ourselves in, some of this will help.  You are not alone, and you will see redemption at the end of your trials.

Blessings,

Jar

Step 1: turn down the lights

• Doing this can set a mood, and let’s face it, the Church today is very reliant upon its moods.  I wouldn’t say this is necessarily a bad thing, but just like all things in life, careful moderation and discernment in use is needed.  If your heart is weary/restless/tired/anxious/etc., then create an environment that will enable you to relax.  Lighting enhances the mood.  Be careful though to not let your emotions or feelings set the agenda.  Allow God to do that.

Step 2: sit/lay/kneel in silence

• Use this moment to take your mind off every distraction.  If you want a supernatural peace, be prepared to leave the natural world.  In order to do that, let nothing of man come between you and your God.  Media in all its forms, such as a computer, cell phone, magazines, books should be set aside.  All great things, but not pertinent for the moment you’re searching for.  Pray.  Speak.  But above all, listen.

Step 3: use music where needed

• “Wait, didn’t you just say to leave the natural world?  Wouldn’t this include music?”  Yes.  Yes, I did say that.  But sometimes music can do things for us nothing else can.  After all, God devoted an entire book of the Bible to it, so there must be some merit in making an exception.  Whatever it is you choose to have playing, let it be something that points you toward your Savior.  This is in stark contrast with what most of contemporary Christian music involves these days: a frighteningly massive amount of self-centered lyrics that only serve to feed our selfish feelings.   God is not emo, so Dashboard Confessional need not be on your holy playlist.

Step 4: allow yourself to be broken

• In your search for peace, you will no doubt encounter just the opposite.  When we are quiet in the presence of God, the Enemy becomes everything but.  In these moments, you will experience pain/sadness/discomfort/uncertainty.  This is a good thing.  But be careful who you listen to.  The admonitions of God lead us to seek change, while the accusations of Satan lead us to seek charity.  Seeking change is making sure you are ready and willing to do your part, while seeking charity is playing the pity card and begging for someone else to fix the problem.

Step 5: allow yourself to be healed

• In our unfortunate state of being, we have constrained ourselves to self-loathing and hatred.  This is not a “love yourself before you can love anyone else” kind of idea.  It is however, an “allow yourself to be loved” kind of idea.  It’s humbling and difficult to accept that in spite of your shortcomings, someone still has love for you.  How much more difficult is it when that Person is our Heavenly Father?  Whatever you have done, whatever you have allowed to fracture your relationship with God, it’s past.  Now it’s time to move forward.  It’s true that changes in your life will need to be made, but if you think there’s anything more you can and have to do in order to gain favor with God, you are terribly mistaken.  Make the needed changes, but more importantly, accept the needed love.

Youth Leader Fail…

I failed big time tonight. It happens. Right?

Tonight was the first evening youth event at North Manchester Congregational Christian Church (phew!) that I led completely. Suffice it to say, I did not bring the goods.

The game fell flat. Flatter than my face after the fall.

The lesson was discombobulated, as I was seemingly all over the place. But of course, that’s only because I was foolish enough to think I had the lesson committed to memory, only to quickly find out I did not, and subsequently could not find my place in the notes, thus furthering the discombobulation.

It was so bad that at one moment, a jr. high girl raised her hand and begged me to get to the point.

Bless her heart.

I wish I could say that I took it all in stride and just reminded myself that tonight was a learning experience. But the truth is that I didn’t come to accept that until many hours later, after a good talk with Heather’s dad. I tend to wallow when I screw up. I become like Eeyore and hang my head in depression. It’s a silly little process when I stop and think about it because it really gets me no where in the long run, but I still do it nonetheless.

I often think that I have to get things perfect. The reality though, is that I will NEVER get ANYTHING perfect. And neither will you. It’s absolutely foolish of me to think that I should even expect perfection from myself or anyone else in anything. It’s arrogant and ridiculous that I could even conceive of the possibility, for it’s a complete impossibility.

No matter what your career is, youth pastor or real estate agent, you will fail. Maybe not in a collective manner (at least I hope not, but if you do, there are plenty of membership cards for you to fill out), but on one task or another.

That’s life.

You just have to “roll with the punches”, “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” and any other inspirational cliche that involves parenthetical notation.

I wish I could say that I always have this kind of perspective, but I fail at that too.

Oh, and that picture? That was me back in 2006 when I used to work at County Line Church of God. I thought I knew everything there was to know about youth ministry then. And I was pretty sure I was one of the coolest youth leaders, as shown by my stupid beanie and hipster rugged jeans.

FAIL

Jar

Ministry is Inconvenient…

It’s true.

No matter what facet of ministry you are involved in, there is an element of inconvenience that will at one point ruin your day.  That’s the price we pay when engaging in ministry.

The problem for many, especially myself, is that we haven’t mastered the art of being inconvenienced. 

I can easily become frustrated, angered, and annoyed with changes in plans.  While I’m more a “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of guy, I still find great comfort and ease when there is a routine or expectatant action.  When obstacles come in the way of that routine or expectation, it’s difficult for me to relent on the things I want. 

That’s detrimental to ministry.

So if you’re working with squatter parks in Africa, or youth groups in Manchester, Indiana, be ready for the inconvenience of it all.  It’s going to happen.  Trust me. 

The real test is how we respond to it. 

Jar

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