I'm Jared.

I failed big time tonight. It happens. Right?

Tonight was the first evening youth event at North Manchester Congregational Christian Church (phew!) that I led completely. Suffice it to say, I did not bring the goods.

The game fell flat. Flatter than my face after the fall.

The lesson was discombobulated, as I was seemingly all over the place. But of course, that’s only because I was foolish enough to think I had the lesson committed to memory, only to quickly find out I did not, and subsequently could not find my place in the notes, thus furthering the discombobulation.

It was so bad that at one moment, a jr. high girl raised her hand and begged me to get to the point.

Bless her heart.

I wish I could say that I took it all in stride and just reminded myself that tonight was a learning experience. But the truth is that I didn’t come to accept that until many hours later, after a good talk with Heather’s dad. I tend to wallow when I screw up. I become like Eeyore and hang my head in depression. It’s a silly little process when I stop and think about it because it really gets me no where in the long run, but I still do it nonetheless.

I often think that I have to get things perfect. The reality though, is that I will NEVER get ANYTHING perfect. And neither will you. It’s absolutely foolish of me to think that I should even expect perfection from myself or anyone else in anything. It’s arrogant and ridiculous that I could even conceive of the possibility, for it’s a complete impossibility.

No matter what your career is, youth pastor or real estate agent, you will fail. Maybe not in a collective manner (at least I hope not, but if you do, there are plenty of membership cards for you to fill out), but on one task or another.

That’s life.

You just have to “roll with the punches”, “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” and any other inspirational cliche that involves parenthetical notation.

I wish I could say that I always have this kind of perspective, but I fail at that too.

Oh, and that picture? That was me back in 2006 when I used to work at County Line Church of God. I thought I knew everything there was to know about youth ministry then. And I was pretty sure I was one of the coolest youth leaders, as shown by my stupid beanie and hipster rugged jeans.

FAIL

Jar