Response to Your Responses RE: Revisiting the Depressies

So this post has been getting some good feedback.

In addition, I had a late night Twitter rant that served as the genesis of this post. Read that first, if you can stomach the foolish rambling and spelling mistakes.

More than a few of you have reached out to me, expressing feelings of solidarity and understanding. Encouraging words have been spoken. Attempts at understanding have been given.

There’s a two-fold issue here for me:

  1. It’s absolutely encouraging to hear that other people understand and have felt similar things. I’m not alone, and as much as I tell people to know that they are not alone, I easily forget to give myself the same reassurance.
  2. It’s absolutely heart-breaking to hear that other people understand and have felt similar things. They are not alone, yet they feel that they are, no matter how many people like me in their lives attempt to reassure them otherwise.

It’s #2 that reassures me I still know how to feel like a human. That I’m still capable of empathy and sympathy. That I’m actually able—for no matter how fleeting of a moment it might even be—to think outside of myself and consider another person. If that sounds like I’m tooting my own horn, you’re damn right. This is a victory for me, and for any of you who have struggled with depression, you know well how good it is to feel something that isn’t centered on yourself for once.

To be sure, understand that if anything I’ve said here has been encouraging to you, know I’ve only shared it because I’ve had to first scream it at myself in order to believe it. While I wish I could be altruistic and say I write so openly about these struggles solely for the fact that others like me might read them, the truth is there is another component that is just as satisfying. It helps me greatly to write them down. It gives me focus and a moment to center myself. To express what I otherwise have no other means of expressing. Those closest to me who are privy to (read: unfortunately touched by) these moments ask me what I’m feeling, and often I have no words I can share.

Here is where I seem to find those words. Here is where I gain the clarity and ability to look more clearly, even if I still don’t understand it. Here is where I attempt to help you understand while I attempt to understand myself, even if it results in you giving me a Side-eye Chloe.

Find your outlet. Seek your peace. Discover your zen. Do whatever it takes, but don’t let the darkness take over. And while it might be referencing a different circumstance, read some Dylan Thomas and rage.

If any of this sounds like hyperbole to you, then you don’t understand and I encourage you to seek understanding. Seek empathy.

Hell, forget seeking empathy; require it of yourself!


A shift in focus…

For my Social Media class I’m taking this semester (follow our hashtag on Twitter: #HUSM11) I have to maintain a blog with posting frequency of up to 3 times per week. Part of the requirement is that our blog must have a specific focus, or niche. Some of my classmates have already found their niches, with such focuses as interior design (@Alyson)all the way to local stargazing. (That last one is probably the most unique blogging focus I’ve ever seen. Congrats, @Micah.)

I’ve struggled to find what my focus would be, as I’ve used this space off and on over the years for very random, personal purposes. Nevertheless, I think I’ve found my “niche”.

Anyone who knows me hopefully knows two very big passions of mine: faith, followed by technology.

Why not combine the two?

Do I know how it’s going to look? Not a clue.

Will it make any sense? Probably not.

I’ll share the latest tech news (more often than not this will deal with Apple related products, so I’m sorry if you’re a hater), with a focus on what’s currently taking place within the industry and how it will affect us as consumers.

Where the faith aspect comes in is how we as Christians, the Church, humans, etc. interact with that technology. Whether we like it or not, the world we live in is rapidly changing, and will continue to do so, and there is a great opportunity as Christians to leverage that change before us.

I can’t promise anything substantial, but I do hope that if you continue to visit this space, you’ll be informed and entertained.